You've got my attention." I was all ears.She drew a breath. "Things are strange in my life right now. Laci an' me, well, we'd be living together, but she's worried about what it shows Kim. But that's not the half of it." No?" No. Kim's never been one to go on about guys. She's been on two, maybe three dates since she moved in with me. And then YOU come along. It's like somebody hit her in the head with a hammer. Tim, don't take this wrong, but she's thunderstruck. I've heard of it. I might even believe it, you know, "love at first sight" but maybe it's fairy tale stuff, too, but you need to know..." How do you know this?" I asked."Every time she's been with me the last two days it's been "Tim this" and "Tim that" and "He's so nice. Don't you think he's nice?" Look, Jenny. I just met her and you two days ago. I didn't do anything to encourage her. She's the neatest girl her age I've ever met. Make that ANY age. She's a dream for a geek like me. But I'm over twenty years older than. Doesnt leave a lot of room for someone who's abit of both.So I just watch, and listen as they talk about their spouses orsignificant others, and dream of someone wanting to be with me, eventhough I know darn well how unlikely that is.Once my day at work ends, I trudge home, put up my sore feet, and restfor a while before thinking about eating.I should be trying to lose weight so I can have the surgery, but most ofthe time, I end up eating fast and bad for me, just to fill the emptyspace inside. I've done that a lot, leaving me with a pretty big gut,especially for a girl.Once I eat, I head for bed, and I try and lose myself in dreams where I'ma full girl, and loved.Because dreams are all I have.I feel like I live in a world of beautiful people, and I'm the one on theoutside, looking in.I guess someone has to be ugly just to be a contrast.But even an ugly girl needs love, sometimes.The next day, I get up, and get ready to face the routine, but somethingfeels different. I took a hard.
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